Modestly Safe #F4T

Mistress Modesty Ablaze Safe Words

When I first decided to explore my Femdom “hobby” from just the sort of
home-play fun that I’m sure lots of couples indulge in, to a . . . shall we say . . . wider range of participants, I knew I had to properly research the etiquettes and sensible, codes of practice that would be required.

I was extremely lucky to attend a number of classes and events organised by
two of London’s most experienced Mistresses . . . the wonderfully fun and motivational Madame Caramel, and the beautiful and inspirational Miss Kim Rub.

From each of them I learnt the standard norms of safety and behaviour not just to safeguard myself, but also to safeguard those who may wish to submit to . . . my own style(s) . . . of female domination.

And the importance of safe-words and perceived, and actual, limits of all those involved was always the first consideration for organising . . . and implementing
. . . a meeting / session.

But, of course, as with all things in life, it is from the actual physical experience of participation in something, that one gains the most knowledge and feelings. And I quickly realised that for many of the subs with whom I session with, the actual sense of begging to “stop” is often all part of the huge release and extreme pleasure that they feel. They want to keep gasping “Oh, Mistress please stop” when actually they wish for the experience, and the pleasure, to continue.

So Yes, a safe-word is always necessary, and responsible for both parties, to have set and agreed upon, before a session begins. But, as well as words, I have found from my own experiences, that it is more than a word from which I can sense that enough is enough. It is often from that feeling of personal connection, communication, that leads me to slow, or stop completely, when I know that my submissive has reached that blissful summit.

And whilst at the beginning of my fun Femdom journey, I visited numerous events at ClubRub, Pedestal, ClubBlackWhip, Torture Garden et al . . . nowadays, I much prefer the experience of sessioning with just one, or two, submissives in the Chambers of my choice, rather than the loud and more impersonal surroundings of a club event.

Because it is from that more personal interaction, that the most enjoyable moments of submission and domination . . . for all of those involved . . .
can be experienced.

For more Safe Words, at this week’s Food For Thought Friday simply
smack the button below.

Food For Thought Friday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine


Filed under #FoodForThoughtFriday, BDSM fun, Female Dominatrix, Food For Thought, Mistress Modesty Ablaze, sexual empowerment for women, Sexual liberation

8 Responses to Modestly Safe #F4T

  1. When I’m bottoming I’m absolutely one of those people who like to say things like ‘stop, no, please no, I can’t. please stop’ on repeat until I’ve come a bunch of times and am I pile of jibbering flesh, lol, which is one of the reasons I love knowing I have a safeword as an option. Like you though As a Top I’m paying attention to so much more than whether or not the safeword as been said and that connection definitely makes all the difference. Fabulous post, thank you for sharing you thoughts with us x

  2. Great post Modesty – I would love to hear more about your journey into your style of femdom – please link me if u have already written about it x

  3. Really interesting and informative post k, I’d love to know more about your FemDom journey too!

  4. I agree completely. As a sub, I love to moan and whimper and utter ‘no, please stop,’ while in all honesty, I can take much more. I’m perfectly happy we have safe words I can use for the times when it’s really too much 🙂

    Thanks for this piece.

  5. I am definitely one too who says stop when I don’t really want to stop just yet. Connection is so important!

    Rebel xox

  6. Pingback: Misconceptions & Smiles #SoSS #99 - Rebel's Notes

  7. I’m really glad we have your perspective on this topic. It’s come through in some of the other posts that the Domme needs the safeword as much as the sub. I also find myself agreeing with you totally on the difference between going to events (clubs or parties) where it’s difficult to play seriously because of everything else that’s going on, and just having a one-on-one scene. I went to one Torture Garden party recently and walked away somewhat disappointed. Plenty of play space, but really not anything where it’s possible to get deeper into a scene.

  8. This is a really great insight into your Femdom journey. Thanks. ?

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