Tag Archives: Food for thought

50 Sexy Questions – 1 to 5

ModestyAblazeLifestyle1

I’ve been following the wonderfulCorrupting Mrs Jonesblog pages for years and years now, having first discovered her via Sinful Sunday I believe. Firstly, I was drawn to her fun and beautiful photos, often set in glorious locations and featuring her lovely, and enviously impressive, nipples!

But the more I read through the thoughtful and wonderfully expressive and interesting words that normally accompanied her photos, the more I became engrossed in her, and Mr Jones, lifestyle and experiences. Because … despite being a hemisphere in physical-distance apart … that lifestyle and experiences seemed to be so similar, and as fulfilling, as that shared by Hubby and I.

And those similarities were even more apparent as I began reading through herThirty Dirty Questionssection from her blog header bar >here<:

Gemma herself had found the inspiration of those questions from another blogger, Brigit Delaney (who no longer seems active), but under Gemma’s progression has since evolved into “50 Filthy Questions”. So, with Mrs Jones permission, I thought I’d love to join-in and follow that concept with some answers of my own to the same original questions.

I’ve preferred to re-title my own version as Fifty “Sexy” Questions rather than the “Dirty” connotation. Just because I’ve always wanted to push the view that sex is not “dirty”, I’d rather think of sex as just … “sexy”.

But anyway … I’m not sure how far along I’ll get in keeping-up with my answers … but I thought it might be fun, and would certainly re-kindle some lovely memories.

So … I thought I’d start with just the first Five:

Question 1: How do you define awesome sex. (ie what makes sex better than good)
I always look back on the morning after the night before, (or in the hours after if the event wasn’t actually in the evening lol!!!) and think “Was it fun? And was it exciting and different?” Because that is for me, what makes things “awesome”.
Whether an hours-long, passionately, indulgent session of slow and gentle lovemaking, building up to bed-sheet-creasing, and consuming, series of orgasms and wind-downs, or instead … perhaps brief, spur-of-the-moment encounters in the most unexpected and unplanned situations.
So if it was fun and exciting … and yes different … then that is an awesome, memorable and wonderfully fulfilling experience.
But of course, in any of those situations, I think that what will always make them “better than good” is that one needs a good connection with ones partner, or partners. I have to feel completely at ease with myself, and also at ease in the actual moment/situation. And, at the same time, I think there needs to be a special communication, verbally for me at least, in order to completely let oneself go and fully enjoy the moment.

Question 2: How do you feel about public displays of affection (PDA). You can take this as far as kinks in public.
Um … I’m not sure about this one actually. Hubby and I always held hands in public when we initially started “courting”. And would perhaps occasionally exchange quick pecks on the cheek, as we strolled or perhaps were having drinks at a bar or pub. (I was young and very shy of course).
But then as other “friendships” developed, and if I or us, as a couple were out in public with a lover, or another “special” couple, hand-holding or public pecks on the cheek with someone other than Hubby would probably be rather unlikely. We’d reserve that for behind-closed-doors!
However, during our swinging club experiences, kissing and fondling and then obviously “more”, with new “friends for the evening” would not be a problem at all. It was just natural! But, I suppose, those situations are not really “public” in the specific sense of the question.

Question 3: What are your sure fire turn ons and / or turn offs?
“Turn ons”
I always find someone who is confident, yet NOT overbearingly so, and fun and slightly cheeky in a nice, suggestive way is going to gain my attention, and possible interaction. And, of course, easy interaction once again is going to come through good communication. But always of course with a sense of respect and humour.
“Turn offs”
For me, everything that is the opposite of what “turns me on” is guaranteed to put me off. So … someone who doesn’t have that “sparkle” of easy engagement and interesting conversational approach, is very unlikely to capture my interest. And certainly, any hint of arrogance, or disrespect will instantly have me politely saying “no thank you”. This is true for me in everyday life and “normal” situations, but even more so at swingers clubs or events.
And, of course, it should go without saying that, in any of my fetish, or FemDom occasions, arrogance and/or disrespect is an immediate no-no. Such bad-behaviour in my presence wouldn’t even get to the stage of qualifying for the punishment that the subject may actually be desiring!!!

Question 4: What do you think about when you masturbate?
Oh goodness … So many different things on any different occasion!
Because, in my case, my very catholic upbringing and schooling, and all those mores and morals in ones early years, has an undeniable impact on ones thinking and morals doesn’t it???
Then I met Hubby (lol!!!) and his assertion that “everyone masturbates, even the queen … even the pope”!!!
And suddenly everything changed … moments of wonder, and exploration and … oh my … excitement AND fun!!!

So what to I actually think about?
Well … in the early days of our relationship it was probably on the fun we’d had, where we’d been … and where we’d ended-up!!!
And then, I discovered “vibrators” … and “me-time” took on a completely … and wonderfully fulfilling … different meaning!!!
But then as time went on and I really began finding myself and my newfound freedom and free-thinking … and especially in my first extra-marital “fling” (I think you’d need to read my About page for more explanation) … it would always be about the night after. Or, about the next meeting to come.
And then, in our early swinging club days, I’d almost always wake-up the morning before feeling very nervous, but incredibly excited and incredibly horny. And then on the morning after, thinking about the previous evenings fun, someone we played with, someone we didn’t. Oh my !!!
And then, from my fascination with all things naughty, discovering Fetish and FemDom which inspired my Mistressing hobby! Which led me into a completely new territory of completely embracing my sexuality and self-belief and empowerment.
And goodness, even thinking, and writing these notes down here has made me begin to feel quite tingly …
(And I did post some similar thoughts on masturbation in myFood For Thoughtposting back in 2018).

Question 5: What are your thoughts about porn?
It was way, way back in the days of VHS tapes that Hubby and I first viewed porn on our tiny (it seems now) front room television. And I can’t deny that I did find it arousing. Just because it was sex and … at first … seemed fun and “naughty”.
But … we both quite quickly found them awfully false and contrived and, most importantly, actually less and less fun.
Then we discovered Nina Hartley and Jeannie Pepper. Both women, and both whom, through not only their performance, but through their eyes and smiles in the way they actually seemed to address the camera, seemed genuine and REAL. And it seemed to me, left me in no-doubt of their consensual enjoyment and involvement in what they were doing.
For me … though many I’m sure will disagree … they actually championed a woman’s sexuality and a woman’s right to express, and be proud of, one’s sexuality.
And THEN … and even more game-changingly important for me … I discovered Cindy Gallop and her amazing MakeLoveNotPorn. And if you’ve been reading me here for any length of time you will already know how much I love the ethos and open celebration of body-positivity and sexual freedom that I continue to believe in.
And I say, continue to, because I know that with the ever changing, and growing, reach and power of the internet, the “porn industry” is a contentious and worrying issue. For which I don’t have, or know, the answers to …

So … if you’ve read this far … perhaps you would like me to continue? Let me know your own thoughts … and opinions. Because, I do truly believe that “great or awesome” anything comes from great or awesome communication.


Elust Sex Blogs

Xxx – K

P.s. If you’ve read my “Modestly Returning” post at the beginning of April 2024, you will know that most of my content here was lost, or corrupted, at the beginning of 2022. We are slowly working on re-instating that lost content, and repairing the broken links, so please bear with us. I hope this won’t dampen your enjoyment here.

Xxx – K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Modestly Shameless #wickedwednesday

Mistress Modesty London Dominatrix

This week’s prompt at Wicked Wednesday is “Shameless Promotion” … so, of course, I just couldn’t resist … because, as I’ve mentioned before, Marie’s wonderful meme was one of the prime motivators in me beginning my online journey here as Modesty Ablaze.

And finding a place that gave me weekly editions of a wide range of erotic stories was inspirational in my deciding to share excerpts from the “home” diaries that I’d compiled over the years.

The surprising response I received from those first “words only” blog-posts, motivated me further to “cut-and-paste” selected entries from my diaries into the first “Modesty Ablaze Diaries of a London Hotwife” with “Part 1 – The Journey” Ebook which I published at Amazon.

I was quite astonished to quickly begin receiving lots of messages asking for more. So, in the years since, I have uploaded a further five diary compilations to my Amazon Kindle collection, and … as downloadable PDFs … to my Gumroad page, where I have also added several more shorter “chapter” excerpts.

And, as the sharing of more of my different, and expanding, “hobbies” on my blog pages here grew and grew … I started to receive an increasing amount of requests for much more “personal” items than just excerpts from my diaries.

Hence … my own Used Clothing range, and mini-blog, at: mistresseslace.com Used Toys, Perfume and Accessories at my Mistress Modesty’s Fun Store Poster prints and PDFs at my Etsy page … and lots (over 270 now) of fun videos at Clips4Sale … or fulfilling exclusive video or photo requests and personalised messages at my Pour Me A Glass of Wine Members page.

Or of course at my AVN Fans page where for a very “modest” subscription you can enjoy FREE-2-View access of my daily Video and Photo updates.

But wherever or however you may find me, I hope you will enjoy my indulgences … and always leave with a smile and feeling happier than when you first arrived.

Discover more Shameless Promotion at this week’s Wicked Wednesday by tapping the button below!

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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Modest Silence #wickedwednesday

Modestly Silent CockBox

“My little Cockbox is rather quiet for having such a strong sucking-motor, don’t you think?” I asked.

“And your challenge is to fill it up for me without making a sound … completely silent! Do you understand?”

He failed of course … and I shall probably show you his punishment in a follow-up post here in the future.

But in the meantime you can explore more Silence themes at this week’s Wicked Wednesday by smacking the button below!

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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Wilderness #wickedwednesday

Modesty Ablaze Wicked Wilderness 1

I don’t know about you, but I find there’s something wonderfully “liberating” about being naked outdoors!

Modesty Ablaze Wicked Wilderness 2

And we are very lucky to have large woods nearby where it’s such a lovely feeling to go for an early morning run … naked of course … and feel almost lost in the Wilderness and completely as one with nature.

For lots more “Wilderness” views this Wicked Wednesday simply tap the Rainbow badge below.

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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Modestly Digital #wickedwednesday #KOTW & #4Thoughts

Mistress Modesty Digital at Wicked Wednesday

This week’s Wicked Wednesday theme is “Digital” … asking how one feels about living in a digital world.

Now I’m not really very technical and usually struggle with anything to do with technology, but the digital age we live in has certainly helped me “expand upon” all my fun new hobbies. And, has certainly allowed me to meet lots … and lots and lots … of fun people. Such as Vinyl Man1, the lovely gentleman who helped me with some of my earliest photos for my, then new, Mistress Modesty site.

For more Digital thoughts just tap on the Wicked Wednesday Rainbow below.

Oh, and as the current theme at Kink of The Week is “Fucking Machines” I thought that, as I’m wearing my very own Fucking Machine in this photo, it would be appropriate to join-in there too.

And “Bloopers” at 4 Thoughts ??? … well as you might imagine, this red-machine of mine has encountered a few Bloopers over the years!

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Kink of the Week

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Modest Dungeons #KOTW #wickedwednesday & #4Thoughts

Mistress Modesty Wicked Dungeons

For last week’s Sinful Sunday post Something beginning with … I mentioned how my journey here at Modesty Ablaze had sent me in many new directions and on many new exciting adventures.

And in fact I’m not ashamed to admit that I became almost addicted to embracing every new opportunity, and every new path, that Modesty led me on. Some that I would never ever have imagined, or some that had perhaps been a fantasy that I’d never thought I would dare to indulge.

And certainly one of the latter, was the unfolding evolution of Mistress Modesty into what I’d once perceived as a dark world of dungeons and damp cellars, leather and chains.

But I was intrigued, and entranced, by the thought of willing submissives, begging to be caged and beaten, blindfolded and gagged, presenting their naked and humbled bodies to the will and whim of a powerful Dominatrix.

Possibly it was the thoughts of having that power, that control, so unusual in my “normal, real” world.
Possibly it was the arousing thoughts of being worshipped and adored, without the expectation or need of reciprocation.
Perhaps it was a little of both those things.

But as my journey, and connections … and bookings … grew, it actually became more about the fun of the different experiences and different people involved.

And that is how it has continued over the years since. An overwhelming sense of fun and satisfaction with every new session … and every new sensation.

And hopefully it is an addiction that I can continue to enjoy for many years still to come.

For more experiences of Addiction … and Gagging … and Medieval Dungeons … visit the current editions of Wicked Wednesday, 4 Thoughts and Kink of The Week … by smacking the buttons below!

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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Modestly Cucking #KOTW #wickedwednesday & #4Thoughts

Modesty Ablaze on Cuckolding at #KOTW

The current theme at Kink of the Week is “Cuckolding” … so although our relationship is not, strictly speaking, exclusively a Cuckolding one … how could I possibly not join in?

Because, as I explained in an earlier post this week, Hubby does actually quite often get to join-in the fun!!!

But the “idea” of Cuckolding is definitely a Kink … for the both of us.

It started from my confession to Hubby all those years ago of my office affair.

His revelation that he actually enjoyed knowing I was experiencing the thrills and excitement of sex with another man, started us on a wonderful journey of sharing each of our kinks and desires … one of which was Hubby’s fantasy of watching me with another man.

It didn’t happen immediately of course. Neither I, nor that particular lover, were ready for that sort of inclusion straight away! Rather my affair continued, (awkwardly at first as my lover found the knowledge that my husband knew of our relationship, disconcerting and “weird”), with me returning home each evening to relive all the details to an excited Hubby expectantly waiting-up for me on the sofa.

Unexpectedly I soon realised I was as excited as Hubby was in recounting the where’s, how’s and what’s of each nights encounter. And, even more unexpectedly, I actually found myself excited during the evening, knowing that I would be returning home and reliving every kiss and touch … and thrust!

Slowly my lover’s unease about the situation began to change. He started asking lots of questions about Hubby’s reactions, and eventually, he agreed for the three of us to meet. That’s all it was at first, just meeting for drinks, and for my two men to get to know one another. And they actually got along very well.

It still took several months after that first social meeting however, for my lover to become comfortable enough to agree for Hubby to join us in our hotel room, after I promised he would be made to sit quietly in the corner and not speak or move. And so our first Cuckolding experience was christened.

There were nervous flutters for all of us … but I did feel quite a thrill from my mock “headmistress” finger pointing instruction to Hubby “sit on that chair, not a peep until you’re spoken to”. And Hubby told me later he felt the same way. (And this was decades before morphing into my Mistress Modesty persona).

It started slowly, and differently, as it was bound to I suppose. But once we were lost in our embraces the normal lust and passion returned. Hubby was allowed to speak of course … during our natural breaks … and dutifully topped-up our glasses and fed us both grapes and melon slices.

For my part I found it all wonderfully exciting and arousing, and it made the evening even more thrilling and empowering than before. My lover however, didn’t feel the same way, telling me later that sharing didn’t give him the same thrill that it obviously did for Hubby and myself.

But Hubby loved his “role-play” mode of the humiliated Cuckold, and I absolutely loved playing along to his kink (and now mine) of the lustful Hotwife.

That first affair eventually fizzled out as office affairs generally do. And though all of my subsequent lovers were always told of our “open-relationship” lifestyle from the outset, not many felt comfortable enough to join in with Hubby’s “loves to watch” kink. But happily … very happily … for us, we have been lucky enough over the years, to meet several other gentlemen who have enjoyed, and benefitted from, our Cuckold fetish. (One of whom appears above!)

For lots more experiences of Cuckolding … and Mischievous and Improvement lifestyles … visit the current editions of Wicked Wednesday, 4 Thoughts and Kink of The Week … by tapping the buttons below!

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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Modest Leather #wickedwednesday and #4Thoughts_Fiction and #KOTW

Mistress Modesty loves Leather

New “hobbies” always open-up new experiences and often change one’s perception of certain things, and previously held likes and dislikes don’t they.

And that was certainly the case when I first embarked upon my Femdom fun adventures.

It was obvious that I would need a complete new wardrobe … and accessories. Not that I’ve ever been averse to a new wardrobe of course!!!

Previously the only leather garments in my wardrobe(s) had been “normal” coats and jackets. And, in fact for my first Mistressing outfits my initial choices were all in Latex. I loved the shiny look and feel of the garments as I browsed the racks at both of the shops my Mistressing mentors had recommended.

But although I loved my new outfits, and felt much more in-tune with my new “persona” when I was wearing them, it was actually the purchase of my first accessories that really led to my new love. Leather.

My first two items, a stranded heavy leather flogger and a lovely spanking slapper, just had that smell and feel about them that had me intoxicated in a way I hadn’t experienced with my normal leather coats and jackets.

Perhaps it was that rawness … and knowing the intention of their purpose … that made me want to inhale and savour that smell even more. And to feel the strength and yet caress of that texture against ones skin. Suddenly the clingy and difficult to get into, and out of, sticky latex was pushed to the back of my wardrobe to be replaced by lots, and lots, of new garments in my new Pleasure, my new love … and yes even my new Desire for … Leather !!!

For more thoughts on Pleasure, Desire … and Leather … just visit the current editions of Wicked Wednesday, 4 Thoughts and Kink of The Week … by tapping the buttons below!

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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Modest Exposure #4Thoughts_Fiction and #wickedwednesday

Modestly Exposed at 4Thoughts

Some of you may have seen my “Update March 2021” note on my OnlyFans page here recently, so the current prompt at 4 Thoughts of “Exposed” rings especially true at the moment, and I just couldn’t resist joining in.

And … as the current prompt at Wicked Wednesday just happens to be “Two Truths and a Lie” … I thought it would be fun to tease you with my answers to the Questions being asked below:


1) Have you exposed yourselves in word or picture and did you chose to do so, as an act of exhibitionism or subservience to another’s will, or perhaps as an act of self humiliation?


2) What was behind your act of exposure? Was it something you did of your own volition or were you told to do it?


3) How did it leave you feeling? Excited perhaps? Guilty? Horny or perhaps, sadly; in some way compromised?
?


And … my answers???

1) Yes, I have … just once or twice … exposed myself in some Nude In A Public Place exhibitionism pictures.


2) Yes … I’m ashamed to say … that on each occasion it was completely of my own volition.

3) It always leaves me feeling Excited, Guilty, Horny and … Compromised.

So … to play 
Marie’s Wicked Wednesday “Two Truths and a Lie” game … can you guess the Truths and Lies amongst my answers above???

For more ‘Exposures’ at 4 Thoughts … and ‘Truths and Lies’ at Wicked Wednesday … simply click on the buttons below!

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P.s.: There are some clues to my “Truths and Lies” answers above >here<
and >here<

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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Modestly Gazing #4Thoughts_Fiction and #wickedwednesday

Modesty Ablaze Gazing

For as far back as I can remember, I’ve always enjoyed sex. Not just the physical act itself, but all the mystique, eroticism, taboo, danger and excitement that even the very mention of the word itself brings to mind.


My intrigue and questioning … and then joyous abandonment … as I discovered for myself, the senses of touch and emotion, and power and release, just intensified as my own experiences and relationships grew and evolved.


And so the current themes of both “Gaze” at 4 Thoughts and “Closed Doors” at Wicked Wednesday, immediately made me think back to those first adventures and just how much has changed practically … and yet in my mind’s eye, hasn’t really changed at all.


Long before Modesty Ablaze, I was enjoying the explorations and sexciting adventures that my curiosity … and my wonderful lifestyle … allowed me to indulge in.


And the discovery that I actually really enjoyed “the gaze” of watching … and being watched … fuelled the exhibitionist streak within me even more. Because in every other aspect of “normal life” I considered myself to be shy and lacking in self-confidence. And yet here in the taboo and secret shadowy world of sex and sinfulness, I was embracing the explosions of every gazing, exhibitionist, opportunity I could.


And of course Modesty Ablaze gave me the perfect platform to indulge that exhibitionism through my photos and videos. 


So … those questions at 4 Thoughts ???


1) At the most basic level, how do you feel about watching sex, or being watched whilst having sex?


2) Would being watched make any difference to what you did, or how you did it?


3) Is there a difference between intentional and accidental watching; for example, being invited to watch someone have sex versus accidentally viewing someone who was having sex outdoors?


4) If you are into sex outdoors, what part does both intentional and accidental viewing play in that? And similarly, what do you think are the ethics around having sex outdoors with regard to potential accidental viewing?


And … my answers???

1) Yes, I love both the watching and the being watched.


2) Other than the fact that just knowing that others could be watching always enhances the passion and desire, it wouldn’t make any difference to the what’s or how’s of the occasion, because that will always be determined by the person(s) involved and the exact situation and circumstance at that moment in time.


3) Actually YES … being invited, or in a situation where everyone present is aware of, and fully consents, to the presence of others watching, or potentially watching, will always be for me far more arousing and fulfilling. Because it is that consensual nature of the situation that makes it fun … and exciting.


4) I must admit that sex-in-the-outdoors is not one of my major kinks … I much prefer the comfort and potential for a relaxing recovery and re-charging, before carrying-on where one has just left off. That’s not to say that I haven’t indulged, because there has been several, spur-of-the-moment occasions … but they were never my most enjoyable. So whilst I acknowledge the thrill and intensity of one of those heat-of-the-moment situations, I would never purposefully try to expose passers-by to our fun. Because … in my view it is completely unethical to cause upset or offence to people who may not share the same views, or interests … and that is something I believe should be true in everything we do, not just in the context of sex.


Some people prefer to keep their sexual preferences and desires private, and behind closed doors, and I think we should always respect those views completely and without question.


For more thoughts on ‘Gaze’ at 4 Thoughts … and ‘Closed Doors’ at Wicked Wednesday … simply click on the buttons below!

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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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