Category Archives: #FoodForThoughtFriday

Modest Holiday Panty Rituals

I don’t actually wear Panties on holiday . . . in fact for most of my vacation,
as you may have noticed . . . I don’t wear very much at all !!!

But there is, quite surprisingly, a wonderful shop in the main town which always seems to have an amazing collection of, very very cheap, sexy Panties.
I’m not sure how “authentic” some of the brand-labelling is, but they always seem nicely made, and fun to wear!

So, it has become a holiday ritual every year to journey into town to browse through the new range, and stock-up on supplies.

I immediately wash them, of course, before packing them away in my suitcase to bring home, because . . . one must always wash, and dry, new knickers before wearing for the first time, don’t you agree?

This weeks theme at Wicked Wednesday is “Authentic” . . . whilst over at Food For Thought Friday it is “Rituals” . . . and you can read more on both topics by clicking on the buttons below.

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#F4TFriday

Xxx- K

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A Modest Smile at #F4TFriday #wickedwednesday

Modesty Ablaze on her favourite Stairs

I recently used another photo from this evening on my Grecian Stairs No.7 post. But that photo was at the end of the evening on the way down my favourite, lucky, stairs . . . whilst this photo was from earlier . . . on my way up.

And, as this week’s theme at Wicked Wednesday is “Luck” and the theme over at Food For Thought Friday asks us what words, or phrase, we would choose to live by, I thought this picture was rather fitting for both.

Because I do feel that if you are lucky enough to find something in life you really really enjoy, then you must do all you can to hold onto, and cherish it.

And, of course, always try to remember that “When You Smile, The Whole World Smiles With You” . . . because a smile is so easy to share, and for me at least, so lovely to receive!!!

For more thoughts on “Luck” and “Words To Live By”, just click
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Xxx- K

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Modestly Communicating @F4TFriday

Mistress Modesty Ablaze Bottom Licker

“Further and faster . . . I thought you said you knew how to please !!!”

In my view, communication should always be a “two way thing”. On the one hand, clear and concise instruction . . . and on the other hand, clear and concise acknowledgement


For more tips and advice on Good Communication Habits, visit this week’s F4TF by . . . licking . . . the F4TF play-button below!

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Xxx- K

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Modestly Grown Up @F4TFriday

The questions at this week’s Food For Thought did make me giggle when
I saw them. The first of which I hadn’t thought about for years, the second of which I think about all the time.

1) What did you want to be when you were little?

I wanted to be either, an Astronaut . . . the first woman in space . . . Yes,
I really, really did!!!

Modesty Ablaze in Space

But the closest I came to that, was a visit to The Space Observatory a few years ago with the lovely Curvaceous Dee.

Modesty Ablaze The Nurse

Or . . . I wanted to be a Nurse . . . helping people relieve their aches and pains
. . . which I have had much more experience with over the past few years!

And that second question?

2) As an adult what would you most like to get paid to do?

Well the answer to that is easy. I’d like to be paid to be . . . permanently
on Holiday !!!


For more thoughts on “Careers and Aspirations” just stroke
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Xxx- K

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Modest Sound Bites #F4TFriday

Modesty Ablaze Doxy recording studio

This week’s Food For Thought Friday is all to do with confronting one’s pet hates or fears.

We all have them don’t we, and mine is that . . . being very shy by nature . . .
I really, really don’t like hearing the sound of my own voice.

Now for anyone who has met me in person, or been visiting here at Modesty Ablaze for some time, that may be quite hard to believe.

Because apparently, I never stop talking . . . and people often tell me, that I am never ever lost for words!!!

But as I say, I am actually a very shy person . . . particularly when meeting someone for the first time.

And I think that my talking so much, is like a defence mechanism that I have built up over the years, to try to challenge and overcome that natural shyness.

So . . . my occasional episodes here of setting my “Modesty Ablaze”, and throwing myself into character, was initially just a fun extension of that defence mechanism. Short little audio . . . and then video . . . snippets of silly indulgent fun which I thought I would only attempt once or twice and then quietly fade away back to hiding behind my keyboard and shunning the microphone and video camera.

Until, quite surprisingly, I began receiving requests for more posts of my “posh english accent” (LOL . . . if they only knew!)

So, I suppose the moral of my story is that . . . sometimes with things about yourself that you hate or worry about . . . the best way of confronting those worries is just to jump in and do it anyway. And having an alter-ego such as Modesty Ablaze is the perfect medium to do that.

But . . . I still hate listening to, or watching them back, more than once !!!

For more challenging “pet hates and fears” just push
the F4TF play-button below!

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P.s. – A big “thank you” to the lovely Sassy Cat for inspiring both my recording photo above, and my very first attempts at audio posting all those years ago.
Xxx- K

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Modest Landmarks to Laugh at #wickedwednesday #F4TFriday

Modesty Ablaze Curtains 1988
Modesty Ablaze Curtains – 1988

This week’s prompt of “Laughter” at Wicked Wednesday . . . and of “Landmarks” at Food For Thought Friday . . . just seem to fit so well together that I couldn’t resist re-posting my thoughts from a previous Wicked Wednesday post a few years ago.

I’ve always thought it’s important to be able to laugh at oneself from time-to-time, and I always try to not take things too seriously. And memories from many of those landmark moments often bring giggles and laughter.

So, recalling personal landmarks from my Modesty Ablaze timeline over the years:

From my Seventy-Teenies:
Rebelling from Catholic school tie and gymslips by day, to punk rocker by night down in deepest darkest Soho. I will never be old. Meet a boy with strange accent . . . a little older? Just a little. But . . . he works in the bar at the Marquee club in Wardour Street. Free tickets, free drinks at the bar! He likes me! The Clash, Siouxsie, The Damned, The Jam . . . wild times, wild nights. I’ll never grow old!

To my Eighty-Twenties:
I’ll never grow old. Leaving school. New job. Same boy, think he likes me. Summer holidays, island hopping Greek Islands. Different job. Same boy, think I like him. Flying to the bottom half of the world. I’ll never grow old! Returning home. Leaving home. Sinful living, same boy, we like each other. I’m never growing old, in fact I’m feeling younger.

And my Eighty-MidTwenties (almost):
Same boy. He loves me, I love him. White Wedding. Route 66, Everglades, Sunsets over Key West. I’ll never grow old! In fact, I’m feeling younger.

To my Ninety-Twenties:
New home. Same boy. Children. Love them. Suddenly . . . I’m getting older.

And my Two Thousand Thirties:
School run mornings. Back to work. Office affair. Oh God, what’s happening? I’m a wife, a mother, I should be being responsible, I’m not a youngster anymore. What to do? Must stop, can’t stop. Come clean to same boy. He says he knows already! He understands, he loves me. He thinks it’s fun. He doesn’t mind. I love him. I’m never growing old, in fact I’m feeling younger.

Oh suddenly it’s Two Thousand Forties:
Same boy. New job. New affair(s). Oh God. Can’t stop. Never growing old, in fact feeling younger.

And my Two Thousand Mid-Forties:
Same boy. Swinging fun, such fun. Three-somes, Four-somes, More-somes.
Oh God. Can’t stop. Never growing old, in fact feeling even younger.

To my Two Thousand Fifties:
Same boy. More fun, such fun. FemDom, Mistressing, Crops & Canes. Can’t stop. Won’t stop. Too much fun to stop.
I can’t possibly be getting old, in fact I’m feeling younger, ever younger.

To the years flying by to Two Thousand Mid-Fifties:
Same boy. Lots more fun, new friends, more whips & strap-ons. Don’t want to stop. Hoping it won’t stop. Too much fun to stop. Years seem to pass ever quicker . . . but I’m still feeling younger, wanting younger!

Do I have any goals / landmarks still to achieve?

Oooh . . . never to let an opportunity pass by !!!

Modesty Ablaze Curtains 2019
Modesty Ablaze Curtains – 2019

For more “Laughter” and “Landmark” memories and hopes for the future just click on the two buttons below!

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Xxx- K

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Modest Photos #F4TFriday

Modesty Ablaze Real Estate Signs 2019

I mentioned in last week’s Food For Thought Friday how I discovered several wonderful websites that inspired me to publish my own life experiences here as Modesty Ablaze.

And one of those websites, Sinful Sunday, instantly appealed with it’s weekly theme of erotic, sexy, photos and images . . . which fits perfectly with this week’s questions at #F4TFriday.

What are your motivations for taking sexy photos?

I suppose I’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist . . . a quite “shy” one of course . . . but even in the earliest days of our relationship, I would tease Hubby with some flashing fun, or mock-model “poses”.

He quickly started capturing those fun moments with his camera . . . hence my Polaroids Past archives from which I occasionally publish our fun photographic memories here.

Modesty Ablaze Polaroids Past

Who are you taking them for? Who is your primary audience?

We’ve always had fun with taking our photos, so primarily we’ve always taken them for us. But as Modesty Ablaze started to “blossom” . . . and particularly since discovering Curvaceous Dee’s Scavenger Hunt . . . we found it actually added to our fun to know our photo-flings would, in many cases, (not all !!!), end-up here.

What challenges do you face/overcome when taking such photos? What lengths have you gone to to get “that” shot?

For our Scavenger Hunt photos, I’d say the “challenge” is more about the thrill of actually being naked, or semi-naked, in public. That’s what makes it such fun! One does have to be prepared of course, and sometimes we have stumbled upon a particular location when I haven’t been dressed appropriately and we have then added it to our “must return” list. But Hubby almost always has his small camera with him, and there have been occasions when some of our most fun Scavengers have been quite spontaneous and spur-of-the-moment. (Bikes and Last Post for example).

Modesty Ablaze Bike Rack
Modesty Ablaze Post Box

How did you feel the first time you sent/posted a sexy photo?

Naughty, nervous . . . tingly-thrilling!!!

What are your limits in terms of what you would/wouldn’t show/do in a photo you share?

I try to make everything fun and enjoyable. If it’s not either of those things for me, then I would certainly stop doing it . . . and certainly not share them here or anywhere.

Have there ever been any awkward/embarrassing moments (e.g. getting caught in the act) when taking your photos?

There have been lots of awkward moments in the sense of trying to be sure to not offend other people. Perhaps the most awkward of which was the Abridged crossing as it was very busy that day.

Modesty Ablaze on the Bridge

But my only really embarrassing moment was during my Sunday Stroll on the Heath with my lovely friend She Lover. After several “test snaps” we’d sat down on a bench with our coffee, having just been passed by an elderly couple who seemed to be giving us long, rather disapproving stares, when I suddenly realised I’d forgotten to re-button my blouse.

Modesty Ablaze on Hampstead Heath

So from my point of view, I hope the photos I share will always make people giggle, smile . . . laugh even (with me, or at me I really don’t mind) . . . and hopefully make them feel a little happier than when they arrived!!!

For more “Picture This” answers just tap the
Food For Thought button below.

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Xxx- K

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Modestly Spreading a Little Love #F4TFriday

Modesty Ablaze reading The Big Penis Book

This week’s Food 4 Thought Friday is about highlighting five blogs within theSex Blogging Communitythat we particularly enjoy . . . and therefore by definition . . . that we find inspiring.

Pick five blogs that you follow at random and tell us what it is about them that you particularly enjoy. How did you find out about them?

Well, as you may have gathered from my occasional postings here, I am definitely more “visual” in the way I approach . . . well, life in general really . . . and that is usually reflected in not just my own posts here, but also in the blog sites I follow and most regularly visit.

And I don’t know about you, but for me everyday life just seems to actually get busier and more and more hectic as every year passes. So that often makes it difficult to keep up with, and visit, everyone’s posts as regularly as I’d like to. And there are simply so many wonderfully exciting, entertaining and insightful blog pages within the “community” that it seems almost churlish in a way to single-out just five. But, I do like rules . . . usually making them, and often breaking them . . .

So . . . I always take enjoyment from the following wonderful websites:

Rebels Notes – Marie’s blog was one of the first “sex-blogging” sites I came across when I started wondering about, and joking with Hubby about, “publishing” my own experiences in the form of a blog page of my own. The honesty, sincerity and directness of Marie’s writings about her journey, and lifestyle, immediately struck a chord. And the more I read, the more in awe I became . . . and have remained ever since. And not just of her posts, but also of her regular photographic updates of her tattoos and piercings.

And it was through following Marie’s Rebels Notes that I soon discovered . . .

Sinful Sunday – Now as I said, I am a “visual” person so discovering Molly’s weekly home for “sinful” photo-erotica was an absolute joy. And it has since become one of our weekly highlights to browse through the collection of fun, clever, beautiful and artistic photos and pictures. And as well as the exciting tingles, and the fun giggles and gasps, it is the expression of positivity about our bodies and our sexuality that resonates so strongly with my own feelings that brings me so much joy at Sinful Sunday every week.

And on the subject of beautiful and clever photo-erotica . . . Sinful Sunday guided me directly to Exposing 40.

Don’t you find that sometimes you know immediately, on seeing that first photo, on hearing that first song, that you will just love everything that person does. Always. Well that is how I felt on my first viewing of Exposing 40 . . . and that is how it has remained. She just seems to have a natural eye for capturing her subjects so perfectly, every time. And yet it is not just her photos that inspire, or have me nodding in agreement, it is the insight and commonsense-ness of her posts that I so enjoy as well.

Another linking click-through from Sinful Sunday sometime ago, led me to If Sex Matters the home of the wonderfully cheeky and exciting May More.

At first it was her gorgeous, and fun, photos that drew me in. But soon, in much the same way as the connection I felt with Marie’s Notes, I felt an empathy and admiration for May’s writing and openness of her experiences and background. And, more recently, an almost voyeuristic attraction to her erotic stories . . . and I am sure that you will find the same!

And finally, but never ever last-ly !!! . . . you know how I keep saying I’m more “visual” and how much I love the erotic in photo-erotica and it is usually the photos that capture my eye before the words? Well that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy erotica in my reading time as well.

And there is one person, one website, that always inspires me to make special reading time . . . because “Everyone Needs a Bedtime Story” and Kay Jaybee is certainly the most erotic, and exciting, writer I have ever read.

I had randomly picked a book from the shelf on my first visit to Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium in Hoxton, and knew instantly as I read one, then two, then three paragraphs on the page I had flicked to, that I needed to take it home with me. “Buy me this, now!” I whispered hoarsely as I thrust ‘The Perfect Submissive’ into Hubby’s hand.

And I’ve had the same, tingly, reactions with every one of Kay’s books since. Always exciting, always imaginative . . . and always, always erotic . . .

Pick five posts/pages from your own blog that you are particularly proud of and include the links in your post.

As I always say, my pages here have grown from a joke and a dare to just indulge in a little bit of “anonymous exhibitionism” about my lifestyle and experiences, to suddenly feeling that we all have a right, a need . . . a duty even . . . to express our beliefs in one’s sexuality and freedom to choose.

So, although neither myself, nor Hubby, have the artistic skills for photography as displayed every week at Sinful Sunday, I am happy and ever hopeful that my occasional Scavenger Hunt adventures, and our memories of Polaroid Pasts, go someway to illustrate how important I feel it is to accept ourselves, for who and what we are. And, to have as much fun as we can as we naturally change and develop throughout lifes’ journey!!!

Similarly, I hope that by sharing my enthusiasm for the “Real World Sexual Values” of fun and adventure, at my Make Love Not Porn pages, will show how important I believe it is to embrace and be proud of our sexual desires and fantasies . . . and to communicate those feelings about what we like, or might like to try, to our partners-in-life.

And, although I can never, ever write erotica in the way that Kay or May can, I do hope that by sharing some of my own lifestyle experiences from the Diaries that I have kept for years and years (and years!), it may possibly help others accept that sexual feelings, attractions . . . and desires . . . are not only normal but one’s personal right to explore and enjoy . . . without guilt or shame !!!

But whichever pages, or posts, people visit here, or at any of the Five websites above . . . or indeed any sites in the “Sex Blogging Community” . . . I’m sure we all share one thing in common. The hope that all our visitors will be able to smile and feel better than when they arrived !!!

For more “Spread The Love” answers just tap the
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#F4TFriday

Xxx- K

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Modestly Getting Things Going #F4TFriday

Modesty Ablaze biting the sheets

As this week’s Food For Thought Friday so correctly says . . . “the type of sex we have often depends on the mood we are in and the circumstances we find ourselves in. Sometime we like to take our time, draw things out, wallow in extended foreplay and have things take as long as possible. At the other extreme, sometime the mood grabs us and all we we have time for is the heady rush of a quickie in the most inappropriate of locations.”

I couldn’t agree more . . . so my responses to the following questions, would be:

When you are in the mood, do you initiate sex, or do you wait for your partner to do so?

I’m a great believer in letting things just develop, or happen, naturally. Quite often the best, and most fulfilling, of liaisons occur quite spontaneously without particularly planning or desiring something in particular. And if the chemistry, and the situation I find myself in, is right . . . then lovely things often just happen of their own accord.

What are your preferred means of letting your partner know that you are in the mood?

For me it is always through laughter and subtle touches . . . suggestive comments and recalling previous fun situations. And then probably reaching out for the others hand, stroking their arm or a gentle squeeze or cuddle.

What methods of foreplay do you most enjoy?

Kissing . . . it must always start with a kiss. Casual and teasing at first, slowly becoming more and more passionate . . . and then !!!

What methods of foreplay would you like more of or more often?

Well . . . once those passionate kisses have got me going, I tend to forget about foreplay!!!

What was the most daring/risky quickie that you have ever had, and how did it come about?

I had to really think about this question as I’m not a fan of a “quickie”.
I much prefer to not rush things, but to take ones time and relax into those special moments of togetherness.

But I suppose the most “risky” liaison I have had, was some years ago on a
night-out for “just for a drink” with one of my lovers. We’d decided to take a detour through our local park . . . and pause for a “rest” on a bench on one of the pathways. As was usually the case, I’d gone without knickers, so was able to easily sit astride his lap . . . and quickly get carried away with myself, thinking about how much Hubby would enjoy me telling him all about our “rest” . . .
as soon as I got home!!!

For more “Getting Things Going” answers just tap the
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Xxx- K

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A Very Social Relationship . . . #wickedwednesday & #F4TFriday

Modesty Ablaze reads "Behind The Blinds"

The theme this Wicked Wednesday is “Social” . . . which seems to go hand-in-hand, with this week’s Food For Thought Friday questions, so . . .

Casual sex, dating, friends with benefits, hook-up, one night stand, fuck-buddy; have you ever had one (or more) of these arrangements? What is the difference?

I have been incredibly blessed to have been with the same partner for over 38 years, and over the course of our wonderfully loving relationship, I have been able to indulge in and enjoy . . . and in fact still enjoy . . . all of the experiences mentioned above.

They didn’t all happen immediately, nor all at once of course, but even in the first few months of our marriage we were able to talk-about and express our desires and fantasies.

I did find it awkward at first to overcome those feelings that we all have in our early years that one should feel “guilty” about having sexual thoughts. That sex should be “lights-out and private” and only to procreate and certainly not to admit that it was actually enjoyable!

But, to be honest, and perfectly clear about putting this post into true perspective, it wasn’t until I unexpectedly and unexplainably, “strayed” into an office affair . . . and Hubby’s reaction to that . . . that I was suddenly, and completely, able to release myself from all of those shackles and fears and become true to myself . . . and to our marriage.

So, to answer the question above specifically, our open and honest lifestyle has allowed us to enjoy all of those experiences to the full.

And yes, on the one hand, they are all different . . . and yet all based on the same (for us) principle of just talking to each other, expressing our “interest” and both agreeing that each of us is completely happy with the situation(s) we find ourselves in.

What is the most interesting way you ever met a partner?

Apart from that earliest office acquaintance, we have met most of our friends at Clubs or Party Events . . . so all of them have been “interesting” in one way or another.

Have you ever had a hook-up become a relationship? How do you know that it had happened?

Whilst a lot of those experiences have been one-off adventures, we have been incredibly lucky to have formed several long-lasting regular relationships with a number of people whom have become friends in every sense of the word, not just in the sexual context. And those sort of friendships only evolve if one feels totally at ease and comfortable with each person involved.

How would you tell a potential partner you want a non-monogamous or D/s relationship? If you are already in one, how did it evolve?

Whenever, or however, I am approached . . . whether singly or by a couple . . .
I always immediately tell people about my relationship with Hubby and that everything is always completely open and straightforward, and I explain exactly what my expectations and “rules” are.

Over the years I suppose I have grown into the more dominant role in our own situation, (particulary since discovering, and enjoying, my FemDom fun), so now I will only switch, just occasionally, with one long-standing, friend.

As I mentioned earlier, our relationship just seemed to naturally evolve from one adventure to the next . . . and it still continues to do so . . . with new people we meet and new experiences we share.

And that is what makes it so wonderfully fulfilling.

If your relationship is poly, what is its principal dynamic? Do you have a primary? A few fuck buddies? Is everyone equal? Does everyone know?

I would describe our relationship as “open and fun” and the principal dynamic is that, nowadays, we always play together.

We do have small circle of reasonably regular friends . . . and whilst they may not all personally know one another, they will all know of each other.

What does your ideal relationship look like? Are you already in it?

My ideal relationship is most definitely the one I am already in. And it often looks . . . and always feels . . . like fun !!!

For more “Social” adventures, click the Wicked Wednesday button below.

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And more “Relationship” answers can be found from
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#F4TFriday

Xxx- K

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