A Very Social Relationship . . . #wickedwednesday & #F4TFriday

Modesty Ablaze reads "Behind The Blinds"

The theme this Wicked Wednesday is “Social” . . . which seems to go hand-in-hand, with this week’s Food For Thought Friday questions, so . . .

Casual sex, dating, friends with benefits, hook-up, one night stand, fuck-buddy; have you ever had one (or more) of these arrangements? What is the difference?

I have been incredibly blessed to have been with the same partner for over 38 years, and over the course of our wonderfully loving relationship, I have been able to indulge in and enjoy . . . and in fact still enjoy . . . all of the experiences mentioned above.

They didn’t all happen immediately, nor all at once of course, but even in the first few months of our marriage we were able to talk-about and express our desires and fantasies.

I did find it awkward at first to overcome those feelings that we all have in our early years that one should feel “guilty” about having sexual thoughts. That sex should be “lights-out and private” and only to procreate and certainly not to admit that it was actually enjoyable!

But, to be honest, and perfectly clear about putting this post into true perspective, it wasn’t until I unexpectedly and unexplainably, “strayed” into an office affair . . . and Hubby’s reaction to that . . . that I was suddenly, and completely, able to release myself from all of those shackles and fears and become true to myself . . . and to our marriage.

So, to answer the question above specifically, our open and honest lifestyle has allowed us to enjoy all of those experiences to the full.

And yes, on the one hand, they are all different . . . and yet all based on the same (for us) principle of just talking to each other, expressing our “interest” and both agreeing that each of us is completely happy with the situation(s) we find ourselves in.

What is the most interesting way you ever met a partner?

Apart from that earliest office acquaintance, we have met most of our friends at Clubs or Party Events . . . so all of them have been “interesting” in one way or another.

Have you ever had a hook-up become a relationship? How do you know that it had happened?

Whilst a lot of those experiences have been one-off adventures, we have been incredibly lucky to have formed several long-lasting regular relationships with a number of people whom have become friends in every sense of the word, not just in the sexual context. And those sort of friendships only evolve if one feels totally at ease and comfortable with each person involved.

How would you tell a potential partner you want a non-monogamous or D/s relationship? If you are already in one, how did it evolve?

Whenever, or however, I am approached . . . whether singly or by a couple . . .
I always immediately tell people about my relationship with Hubby and that everything is always completely open and straightforward, and I explain exactly what my expectations and “rules” are.

Over the years I suppose I have grown into the more dominant role in our own situation, (particulary since discovering, and enjoying, my FemDom fun), so now I will only switch, just occasionally, with one long-standing, friend.

As I mentioned earlier, our relationship just seemed to naturally evolve from one adventure to the next . . . and it still continues to do so . . . with new people we meet and new experiences we share.

And that is what makes it so wonderfully fulfilling.

If your relationship is poly, what is its principal dynamic? Do you have a primary? A few fuck buddies? Is everyone equal? Does everyone know?

I would describe our relationship as “open and fun” and the principal dynamic is that, nowadays, we always play together.

We do have small circle of reasonably regular friends . . . and whilst they may not all personally know one another, they will all know of each other.

What does your ideal relationship look like? Are you already in it?

My ideal relationship is most definitely the one I am already in. And it often looks . . . and always feels . . . like fun !!!

For more “Social” adventures, click the Wicked Wednesday button below.


And more “Relationship” answers can be found from
the Food For Thought button below.


Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine


Filed under #FoodForThoughtFriday, 3 somes, Body Positivity, Food For Thought, Multiple Orgasms, sexual empowerment for women, Sexual liberation, Swinging, Wicked Wednesday

5 Responses to A Very Social Relationship . . . #wickedwednesday & #F4TFriday

  1. Like you the relationship I am in is my ideal relationship even with all difficulties we are facing. Master T is also the one who set me free from the narrow-minded way I grew up. Thanks for sharing, K!

    Rebel xox

  2. Was so good to read about your amazing relationship and I love that you said it was “open and fun” – rather than putting a social label on it xx

  3. The key word for me if “fun” and as a long time follower of your blog, I have to say its a spirit you always portray fully. ?

  4. Wonderful memories, your relationship certainly seems to be made stronger by its elasticity. So long as you guys are both having fun, that is what matters. I think we all benefit from how ‘social’ you are! Thanks for sharing!

  5. I always think your story of how this evolved for you guys is so brilliant


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